Week 29

Someone is growing big. Oh, and so is the baby. 

Here's a little comparison for kicks. Same shirt just six weeks earlier

Updates

The baby:

Our little man is growing so fast that I feel like I can see a noticeable difference every day. Even though he is getting bigger and more squished in there he is still as active as ever. His favorite position is still transverse (sideways) which is fine for the time being but I wonder how it’s going to feel when he gains another pound or two. Hopefully he will decide to rotate before then.

Another new experience we’ve had is getting to feel him twitch from little hiccups every night. At first I didn’t know what it was. It drove me crazy trying to figure out how he was punching me in such a rhythmic pattern. Thankfully a friend told me what was happening. It makes me laugh thinking of our tiny little man in there hiccupping away.

The bump:

A friend of mine told me I can no longer call it a bump because there is no longer the subtle hint of a baby. There’s no hiding the fact that I’m pregnant. Thanks a lot. I suppose she’s right but what else should I call it? The baby bulge? The baby protrusion? My wide load? I just can’t come up with anything remotely flattering so I am sticking with the bump.

I feel great! As long as I haven’t eaten too much. Then breathing and sitting and standing become difficult and uncomfortable. And when the baby decides to sit as low as he possibly can then I have to rush to the bathroom noticing a bit of a pregnancy waddle on the way.

I’m also experiencing more ligament pain in my lower abdomen which is tons of fun. Last night I got out of bed too fast and found myself frozen and unable to speak because of one of the most excruciating pains I have ever felt. Poor Steve didn’t know what was happening and I couldn’t tell him. I knew I needed to lie down and relax in order for the pain to go away but the slightest movement made me want to scream and at the same time it took my breath away. I managed to get down to my knees with my elbows on the bed, which did nothing to ease the pain. Then suddenly I felt that icy/hot tingly feeling all over my body and everything started getting dark. My whole body went limp but I guess I stayed semi conscious because I remember falling to the floor. After a few seconds I began crying uncontrollably. What a wimp. Hopefully I can keep it together through labor pains because it will be difficult to push out a baby while blacked out on the floor.

And then there are those little beauties called stretch marks. Those hideous little lines that start to show up and then grow and expand and all you can do is watch as this horror show unfolds. You want to make it stop but there is no stopping it. There is no going back. All you can do is watch. Or maybe not watch and just pretend like it’s not happening. Maybe that should be my new strategy. *sigh. I’ve heard women say that these marks are a badge of honor. Like battle wounds that show proof of your bravery. I guess that makes sense in a way. After all pregnancy feels like a minefield of physical and emotional changes that you can’t control. Perhaps someday I will feel differently about my stretch marks. Or maybe I’ll just learn to pretend.

How was that for graphic? At times I feel so exhausted and frustrated by pregnancy that I just want it to be over. But I’ve been trying to remind myself that aside from all the unpleasant things that are out of my control, this pregnancy is something that I want to cherish. I want to soak up every little movement. I want to bask in the knowledge that my little boy will never need me more than he needs me right now. Soon he will no longer need the protection of my womb. Soon I will hold him in my arms and watch him take his first breath. He will eventually be able to eat on his own and walk without someone holding onto his little hands. Year after year he will need me less and less. Eventually, if I am blessed enough to witness it, he will find another woman to love and marry. I want that for him. I’m excited for him to experience the kind of companionship that I have found with his father. But I also know that once he is born and as he grows and moves on, that there will be a sense of emptiness in the place that he now occupies.

And that is why I am doing this blog. Because if I hadn’t taken the time to sit down and write about this I would have focused on the aches and pains and the little stretch marks and I would have missed out on the quiet time that I am going to go have right now with my baby. Just he and I.

-K