Technology: A blessing???

Blessing

[bles-ing] noun

the bestowal of a divine gift or favour.

I think that technology in a lot of cases is more of a curse than a blessing. Does it make life easier? Yes. But because of this it seems like I find myself more and more dependant on it. And more than that I find myself becoming addicted to it in a way. We talked about getting rid of the internet (my greatest weakness) but kept coming up with great excuses not to. For instance, if I didn’t have internet at my house how would I work on this blog that is blessing you all so much? What’s step 1 in overcoming addiction? Admitting you have a problem? I guess I will get to that later.

This post was not intended to be a confessional. Guess I got a bit side tracked. The reason I bring up technology like this is because Tuesday I discovered a piece of technology that I feel 100% blessed by. Blessed in a way that I don’t think I can fully describe to you. Perhaps it can only be understood by those that have experienced it. But for those who haven’t I will do my best to explain.

So, what is this beautiful piece of equipment, the one that brought me to tears (and Steve almost to tears)? It is an ultrasound machine. Oh how wonderful it is! To see, for the first time, our very own little one. A real person with a beating heart. A baby with arms and legs moving around inside of me. To most people the ultrasound picture is of a fuzzy blob. To us that little fuzzy blob is our whole world. That little fuzzy blob has officially stolen my heart away. It’s making me tear up just thinking about it.

So can technology be a blessing? Can it bestow on me something that I can consider a gift? Even a divine gift? I believe it can. That moment I got to see my baby it all became real. Not surreal, like in the last few weeks, but really real. I admit I wasn’t sure if there would even be anything on the screen. I mean, all the signs pointed to me being pregnant. But I wasn’t completely convinced until I saw him. This child is no longer a giddy thought that I sit and reflect on often. This child has become my world. It is no longer a thought. It is a conviction. Getting to see the video of my baby moving inside of me was the most precious gift.

I wish you could see the baby moving. That was the real treat. Next time we will videotape it to share. For now enjoy the picture of our blob. Isn’t he beautiful?

-K

P.S. We are now taking donations to purchase our own ultrasound machine so we can watch him all the time. We take cash or checks. 

Week 8

September 11

I’m feeling less and less like myself lately. It’s as if something has taken over my body and I am now at its mercy. Oh wait, that’s pretty much exactly what’s happened to me. I do mean that sarcastically. It’s been exhausting the last couple weeks. Seems like all I know lately is feeling sick and tired…literally. I can’t seem to get much done and it makes me feel so lazy. I guess growing a human is a pretty important job though, so maybe the dirty dishes and dirty laundry aren’t as significant as I think they are.

On a more positive note I’ve discovered one thing that has made a huge difference. This baby does not want dairy. At all. And most days I’m feeling worlds better without it. So my house now consists of a husband who is allergic to gluten, a dog that is allergic to just about everything, and now I can’t have dairy. I’ve decided there is no hope for me in the food allergy department and that I need to just accept that I will always be tweaking my meals to make them more suitable for someone. I’ve read that the lactose intolerance is probably just a temporary thing, but I think I will prepare myself for the possibility that it’s not.

Fall is in the air

At the moment I feel great and it is an incredibly beautiful fall day outside. So I’m going to go take my dog for a walk. Until next time…

-K

September 9, 2012

Week six-and boy am I sick

August 28

I can officially say that I spoke too soon on the morning sickness issue. Although I have yet to actually “lose my lunch” I spend the majority of my day wishing I would just go ahead and do it so I might feel a little better. The queasiness starts from the moment I get up and insists on being my faithful companion for the rest of the day. 

I used to think that cravings and food aversions were all in your head while pregnant. They were just a good excuse to eat what you wanted and avoid the things you didn’t want. Well, the universe is repaying me for my judgmental attitude about that one. Seems like the list of foods I can stand putting near my mouth is so short I bet you could have it memorized with one glance. White rice, crackers and cheese. Yep, that’s it. I’ve forced myself to eat more for the baby's sake but have to find ways to distract myself in order to get it down.

I have an art show that I’m trying to put together. It has to be finished this week! I’m way behind and this new symptom along with the exhaustion is not making that task easy. And to make matters worse I now have a cold. The kind of cold that makes you feel like you’re head is stuck in a drum and your brain has been replaced with a mass of cotton balls. It’s the first cold I have had in about two years. According to good old webmd this is another side effect of the new hormones that are making my life so…interesting. It’s like a new adventure every day.

Despite all this I am slowly but surely getting the show done. I work for 20 minutes, take an hour nap for my cold, force myself to eat, work for 20 minutes, lay down to try and help my stomach settle, and around and around we go. It will get it done. Maybe not on time but it will get done.

So, regardless of the fact that this baby is too small to see, he sure is making himself known.

-K

P.S. I think it’s a boy. Steve thinks it’s a girl. Wish we didn’t have to wait three more months to find out who’s right. 

Week 5-Our little shrimp

August 21

Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is grab my phone and open the app I downloaded about pregnancy. It gives little blurbs to read daily and explains the changes you and your baby are going through every week. Today I got to read about what is happening in week five and I lost my breath a little. I read about a beating heart and saw a picture of a baby that actually looked like a little person rather than a ball of cells. (Ok, let’s be honest here. He/she looks more like a little shrimp rather than a person. But it’s amazing regardless!)

WARNING: the following paragraph contains graphic descriptions of my pregnancy symptoms. Read at your own risk. ;-)

I keep reading about morning sickness, which I am glad to report I have had none of so far. I have had plenty of cramping though and some days my hips ache like I just ran a marathon. I also have hot flashes. One minute I’m freezing cold and the next I’m stripping off layers and sweating profusely.  This makes me wonder if I’m going through menopause instead of pregnancy (hmmm, maybe I should take another pregnancy test just to make sure.) I’m also tired every day. I’m loving my daily nap and since I am my own boss I get to take one whenever I want. My life is so wonderful!

Even though it’s been a little painful and exhausting so far I don’t mind the symptoms. When I’m not feeling any of them I begin to wonder if I really am pregnant. It’s still hard to believe its really true and probably will be until my belly begins to grow. I’m sure by then I will be ready for the symptoms to go away but for now I am going to enjoy them as much as I can.

-K

Week 4-this secret I adore

August 14

I am a little over four weeks now and we are still soaking up all the excitement of this little secret we have. We aren’t going to tell anyone for a while, but rather enjoy, just the two of us, this little life that is growing bigger inside of me every day.

And right now I wouldn't have it any other way. I just love it when he looks at me and smiles with that smile. That smile that only I know the true meaning of. Every morning he wakes up and touches my belly and every evening he comes home from work, kisses me and asks how our baby is. Our baby. It melts my heart. 

These little moments are the ones that I want to hold onto forever. I wish there was a fragrance for it. You know how certain smells can bring back the most vivid memories of things you had forgotten? I wish there was a smell that, ten years from now, I could breath in deeply and be overtaken by memories of these days. For now I will just cherish these moments and do my best to put them into words that I can reminisce on later. 

-K

Coursing through my veins

I forgot to mention that after Steve and I spent some time settling in to this news and all the emotions it came with we decided to go for a flight. He wanted to go across the inlet to look for Moose and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my evening. Ok, that’s not completely true. I am glad we did something special as a way to celebrate, but it seems like every time I go for a flight with him in our plane for more than 45 minutes I get airsick. I knew this but decided to go for it anyways. Looking back I can’t say that it was the best decision. Like I said, I’m glad that we did something special that night, but I experienced a whole new set of symptoms that I can only assume were due to these new hormones coursing through my body. After about a half hour into the fliht I got a headache. 45 minutes and I started feeling queasy. An hour and the cramping started along with lower back pain. And then to top it all off I got this panicky feeling. Uncontrollable anxiety took over and it was all I could do to keep calm even though every inch of my being wanted to be out of that cramped little space. I kept calm for as long as I could to avoid ruining the trip for Steve. But finally we had to head home. 

Regardless, it was an absolutely beautiful flight and we got to see quite a few moose. I think in the future Steve will take someone else with him to spot for moose but I’m glad he put up with me that night.

Oh, and that jittery, anxious feeling I had in the plane still hits me sometimes. It’s like when you get a fever and you can feel the heat running through your body, it makes you really achy and your heart races. That’s what it’s like minus the fever. The other night it kept me up for several hours. I was completely restless. I don’t know if its due to hormones or if it’s just my body’s way of reacting to all the emotions I’m feeling. But I can say that it’s a symptom I could definitely do without.

-K